A Friend is Hard to Find

I miss my friends… This may be one of the saddest statements I can write. A few months ago one of my favorite podcasts—Doctrine and Devotion—ended without notice. I kept looking for new episodes, but they never showed up. If an announcement was made, I missed it. I didn’t listen to this podcast for all the doctrine, but I listened because of the hosts. Joe and Jimmy were two friends who had such a genuine connection that they made you feel like you were a part of it. You felt like part of the gang. Now they’re gone and it’s like my friends are gone. Friends I didn’t really have to begin with…

We live in a time where it could be argued that we are more connected than ever. Phones, tablets, social media, and online gaming make talking to someone as easy as picking up a device and tapping the screen a few times. However, people seem more lonely, sad, and anxious than they’ve ever been. What’s going on?

I think the answer is that we were created for community. We were created for true friendship. When I speak of friendship, I don’t just mean people you can talk about the latest sports game, politics, or world event with. You can find those people sitting at every McDonalds in the morning. I’m talking about biblical friendship like Jonathan and David. People who want to know you deeply. People who will get involved in your life and ask you if you’re being a good husband and father; someone who will ask you about your sin struggles and encourage you with the gospel.

These people are hard to find. I know it is just as true for men and women alike. We live in a surface culture. It’s easy to talk to someone about a basketball game or the latest antics of Taylor Swift. It’s hard to talk to someone about their walk with Christ. I would make the argument though that we don’t do this enough. We may do these things with our families, but we are called to be family in Christ. We have to extend the boundaries of the circle.

Where do we start? I think the simple answer is that we must be the friend we want. Find a person or several and put yourself out there. Start asking the hard questions. “What have you been reading in God’s Word?” “What is he teaching you through it?” “How have things been going in your family?” Then go from there. In our surface culture, asking someone these questions will immediately make you stand out. You may be rejected, but finding those real friends is worth the search.

We were made for real friendship. We were made to carry one another’s burdens and to know and be known. In The Lord of the Rings, Frodo didn’t want Sam’s help initially. He didn’t know that he needed it. However, as their journey progressed, Frodo could not have survived without Sam. He had his back, picked him up when he was down, defended him, reminded him of truth, and he helped him bear his burden. We too need friends who will help us do things and we need to do these things for others. A true friend is hard to find, but when we find them, we will never want to let go.

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
    and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” - Proverbs 27:9