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5 Important Things to Pray for Your Spouse

5 Important Things to Pray for Your Spouse

When Rachel and I were newly married with no kids, we'd go out on a date together every week. It was a great time for fun, laughter, romance, and intentional conversation. Being a pastor, I enjoy talking about theology and I'd often bring it up and talk with her about different things on our dates. However, I quickly found out that we had some sharp disagreements on some things and I'd usually press the issue too far and make her mad. It wasn't the greatest way to spark romance or make her feel love towards me. We ended up having to set a rule that we wouldn't talk theology on dates (I really was that bad).

I was bothered that we didn't see eye-to-eye though so I began to pray. I prayed that God would either change her heart or mine, but ultimately I wanted Him to put us on the same page so we could have unity on some of these things. I realized that my debating spirit wasn't going to change her mind or heart, but that God could change one or both of us. In praying for us, I realized the importance of prayer and the power of God to do far more far better than I ever could. 

We always need to be praying for our spouse even if we are unified in everything. Praying for them is a way that we love them because God can take far better care of them than we can. Here are five things you can begin to pray for your spouse:

That They Would Love God Far More Than They Love You

You make a poor Savior and so do I. When we love our spouse more than we love God we essentially make them our god. None of us want that. I will let my wife down over and over. I will sin against her. I am not perfect and if she is looking to me as the one who can fix everything and make everything right for her then I will let her down time and time again. 

I want Rachel to love God far more than she loves me. If she does that, then she is looking to the One who can hold her perfectly when the storms of life come. She will know and love the One who will never fail her or let her down. She will be consumed with the One who is worth being consumed over. I will be free to point her to Him and she will not be crushed when I fail her. 

That God Would Draw Them Closer to Himself

When Rachel looks more like Christ, I benefit. When I look more like Christ, Rachel benefits. Jesus is the only perfect man to have ever walked the earth. When we look and act more like Him then everyone benefits from our sanctification. 

Not only that, but when your spouse is walking closely with Christ then they will experience greater joy. They will experience what they were made for—fellowship with God. They won't be searching for fulfillment elsewhere and they will know and be experiencing true satisfaction. Don't we all want that for our spouses?

That God Would Use Them For His Glory

I pray this for my wife and my daughters. True purpose is found when we do what we do to the glory of God and for the glory of God. I want my wife and daughters to find their fulfillment in that purpose. Only what we do for Christ will last when this world passes away. I want them to live for something bigger than themselves. I want them to be used by God to do things they never imagined. I want others to thank them one day—whether that be here or in eternity—for their faithfulness in making Jesus famous. I pray that God will use them in big ways for His fame.

That God Would Give You Both Unity

My marriage is never better than when my wife and I are both on the same page. In every single area of our lives, unity is always better than disagreement. As I said above, it is so much better to pray for unity than to try and force it. It is so much better to pray God would give us understanding of one another than to argue. 

I pray we are both unified in theology, in parenting, in finances, and so many more things. We are told a man leaves his mother and father and is joined to his wife and the two become one flesh. In becoming one flesh, we need unity. The disjointed person can't function well. Unity is crucial in marriage.

That God Would Hold Them Fast

My wife follows Christ and I am so thankful to God for that. If she did not, my prayer would be for God to save her. Because she is saved, I pray that God will hold her close until she meets Jesus face to face. We will undoubtedly face storms in this life and I pray that God will show Himself faithful, true, and remind her of all that she knows in Christ. I pray the Holy Spirit will strengthen her. I pray God will help her persevere to the end. 

I can't hold her fast. I can't even hold myself. It all depends on God and I pray He will show Himself to be whom we know Him to be. 


There are so many things we could pray for our spouse. This is just a starting point. These are five things I consider of great importance and we would all do well to pray these for the one we have covenanted our lives with. What are some things you think are important to be praying for your spouse?

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